Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Hey, Murph!!

Hey, Murph!!

"Do not go gentle into that good night; Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light!!"

It's been ages since a celluloid prophecy has caught my imagination so much to have a profound impact on my very being! It's the above universally popular 'Interstellar' quote that sums up the crescendo I have so painstakingly been building over the last 2085 days since 11th March 2009 when it all started. And yes, today (24th Nov. 2014) was the day when it's all over! (Or is it?)

Global warming notwithstanding the last six summers have felt excruciatingly painful (and sinful) like they did never before. All the intervening monsoons couldn't help douse the burning fire from within all this while for it indeed was the morphine-soaked 'dead' wood which would give the illusion of some spark somewhere. It would be an understatement to say that the usually not so harsh Mumbai winter nights would keep inducing a shudder in my spine out of nowhere and the fear of unknown wouldn't allow its intensity to recede for one moment.

All this while I would keep myself pumped up by feeding myself with a mind bug (like they have song bug) to reinforce the recently turned famous 'Cooper' dictum that Murphy’s law doesn’t mean that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen.

It did help to have an absolutely endearing breed of well wishers around who would keep egging my spirits on by showering me with their ceaseless stream of words of wisdom. I don't have enough words to express my gratitude to such unconditional support and unadulterated affection I have been privileged to receive in bucketfuls from them in my hour of crisis. To all those guys, if you are reading this I just wanna tell you that today it's not me who stands victor but it's indeed your faith in my adopted 'approach' and the chosen 'instruments' that have eventually stood through the test of time. Hats off to you all of my honeys! Just remember that if ever you jumped off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with you. I’d be at the bottom waiting to catch you idiot.

There were lot of 'doubters' who would care as much for me but would always try to intimidate me with the consequences if I didn't go the tried (and possibly 99% tested as well) way to get myself 'freed' from the clutches of the cruel time which is mercilessly agnostic to any human emotions. I would gently snub them while being equally thankful for their concern for me. To them all I can now proudly claim that afterall I haven't let them down.

Even mythology is inundated with references of sea monsters having sharp teeth and I am referring to a real life scene! It's bound to have at least few of them who quite scarily would camouflage their fangs in muslin cloth. To them also I have only a word of gratitude since it's their (often brutal) cynicism only that my "alter ego" would relish as a parasite and but for their below-the-belt hitting I wouldn't probably have gone the full distance. Respect guys!

(C) Rits Original

P.s.: I do sincerely apologize to all those who are still struggling to bridge the gap between fiction and reality. Just a humble spoiler for them, pls don't rush to extract your wisdom tooth as yet for it's not really worth the attendant pain ;)

Oh DDLJ, come back just for one more time!

Oh DDLJ, come back just for one more time!

20th October 1995, the entire day's proceedings is still as unobtrusively etched in my mind as that of the hour which just went by!

It was the freshers' day @ MBM Engg. College, Jodhpur and after over two months of 'entertaining' our seniors from four different batches (yes, there was an 'old' final year too!) It was the day of emancipation for 320 young souls.

The stage was set as early in the evening all of the class made merry on their newly found "self respect" which indeed ceased to exist all this while (not sure if today's generation still is subjected to such systemic customs) in the sprawling lawns and right in front of the majestic Mugnee Ram Ji's bust.

Nobody was in a mood to let the fun n frolic dampen by leaving the scene any time soon but it also happened to be the day when the most awaited DDLJ got released and 300+ young guns dancing on its oh-so-mesmerising sound track would have just made for a custom package!

'Kohinoor' was the lucky theater to have the privilege of screening this epic but it certainly was not ready for a psunami that was taking shape for the day's night show!

I was one of the few lucky early entrants and could find my seat somewhere as it got apparent that the management had over booked for the show (poor airlines, they didn't start the trend of this menace of eating more than they could chew) and very soon we were staring into a chaos!

Within no time I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw couple of dozen of my classmates dancing like they would do on streets in their best buddy's wedding. I used to be quite a 'recluse' in those days so even as after the initial 'shock' I too secretly longed to join the fun I couldn't muster the courage, both out of my self-imposed 'sanity' & the fear of possibly getting roughened up by the management besides my name getting reported to the dreaded Dean Saab!

Patrons couldn't have enough of a carelessly prancing Kajol with gay abandon to the still humming Jatin Lalit melody "Mere Khaabon me Jo Aaye" and had to console their sunken hearts once she had to return to normalcy after the great Anand Bakshi ran out of steam to feed the awe inspiring Lata Ji's voice. Then the unthinkable happened as the screen went blank and we realized that there was some commotion in front of the projector room.

Next few minutes could have brought the parliament down as just about everyone got berserk with this totally uncalled for interruption. But... The screen lit up and we had to rub our eyes in disbelief when we noticed SRK in his famous "slow motion run with the ball" and Kajol playing with her towel, yet again!!

Everybody was like, "what the heck this is?" but was there any idiot to complain? One more opportunity to bring the house down and was I to let this God sent privilege go, again! Ah, what merry and what jubilation that was! Even those with their families, after their initial scorn of course, joined the fun for the next three hours.

Later we got to know that some of the 'well built' Dil-jale's who had made a late entry indeed were to be thanked for this windfall (oops, another on-screen rainfall) that none of us would be able to forget during our life time.

Gone are the days, gone is the spirit! Long live the DDLJ team for what you had unwittingly done to an entire generation. Respect!

(C) Rits Original

Sunday, November 9, 2014

My experience with Uber

My experience with Uber

After reading through how RBI perceives its lack of two factor authentication while directly charging its registered customers' credit cards, like many others I was also suspicious and jittery in giving Uber a chance (fearing an imaginary fraud on my "stored" credit card somewhere). So even as I had downloaded its app and had my credit card also verified by its servers I didn't bite the bullet until recently and when I reluctantly did, what awaited me was an absolutely pleasant surprise!

Within municipal limits of the cities where Uber is present (and I realized that it's there in most of the metros while steadily increasing its footprint in all the tier-2 cities as well) you just don't need to plan for booking your cab unlike the days of the likes of the utterly disgusting Meru which even after taking booking in advance won't care to inform that half of the time they won't "like to" honour the commitment made (obviously for want of a "farther" customer). I could NEVER rely on any of them & barring exception on a countable instances almost always ended up cursing myself for having put my faith where there was no propriety in the first place!

Now Uber makes it easy by being available to you virtually anywhere in the city at merely a click! Just tap on to your app few times as n when you wish to make a move. Lo and behold! It's there for you, mostly in about the same time you would end up engaging a cabbie running his black and yellow one.

As it claims, Uber is indeed your private driver. Some of the unique features of Uber are as under.
- Request a ride using the Uber app and get picked up within minutes. On-demand service means no reservations required and no waiting in taxi lines.
- Compare rates for different Uber options and get fare quotes in the app. Pay with Google Wallet or PayPal, or add a credit card to your secure Uber account so you never need cash on hand.
- Easily set your pickup location on the map, even if you don't know the exact address. Get connected to your personal driver and check the progress of your Uber at any time.
- Sit back, relax, and go anywhere you want. Uber will email you a receipt when you arrive at your destination.

An entirely new and modern way to travel is at your fingertips.
Follow Uber on Twitter at
Like Uber on Facebook at
See if Uber's available in your city at

Aha! This time besides doing some social service by sharing my good experience with you all I inadvertently have an inbuilt vested interest. By spreading the word about Uber both you and I could get rewarded! Just sign up on Uber with the code "6b12q" and you will receive Rs. 300 off your first Uber ride. For each of you that takes a ride using this code, I would also get a credit of Rs. 300 in my Uber account! It's the ultimate Uber win-win!!

I know that you are struggling with the thought of a gift on my birthday tomorrow i.e., on 10th Nov. Well, as you could see I have made your life easy already by giving you a gifting idea. Just take your first Uber ride using my code and you have gifted me without breaking a sweat (if there is no catch in this referral scheme)!

Issued in public (and ostensibly personal as well) interest.

Ritesh Garg