Friday, April 25, 2014

Revolver Rani - I likes it dud!

Revolver Rani - I likes it dud!

Crazy underwear - Chambal dud no.1!

A male phassion parade with this titillating title up for grabs so aptly yet so gently (pun intended) gives you an idea of what all to expect in this desi version of Kill Bill. Ah! Sai Kabir is no Quentin Tarantino but when he has the Queen of the season filling in for Uma Thurman you gotta raise not just your thumb but also hold your head high which shed that pseudo intellectual overcoat in your office cubicle before you revolted against the mocking faces when you declared that you have a date with Alka Singh tonight!

So, who the hell is Alka Singh? (As her name would suggest) Before you jump on to type casting her as any other saree clad Indian politician (who would send all of her 24x7 western outfits to the far away laundry once in every five years i.e., in the one month's period leading up to the coronation day) she declares that she means business, bullet business!

Such is the conviction with which Kangana plays the baddie that you nearly feel like traversing in an alternate universe for it's not many full moon nights ago when she charmed the entire nation as the sweet and gullible Queen.

She is not just into the business of pumping bullets in every single pore of her enemies but she is vulnerable and romantic too! She secretly desires to settle in Benis (yeah, Benis is the new Venice) with her "toy boy" Chamcham (don't expect me to explain what is a toy boy as doing that is not in the scope of this text and it would kill your fun as well) who she blindly loves (and hates to love for his floundering around).

Vir Das gives you an extremely restrained and mature performance while allowing Rani to literally (and figuratively too) taking control of his very being. Hats off to him for allowing himself to be 'used' for better part of the screenplay. Piyush Mishra is still absolutely one 'tunch' (as our Diggy babu aka Digvijai Singh once so famously said about his female party colleague) performer even after 17 summers since he first cast his spell on us in 'Dil Se'.

It's set up in the Chambal region so it's not surprising to keep getting heavy doses of rude yet humorous, violent yet compassionate dialogues from the hinterland. You might not be thoroughbred with this dialect and you would certainly end up missing some of its finer nuances yet you won't find yourself compromising on your understanding of the underlying theme.

As I said in the beginning also, I have put all my money on Kangana the Actor and it looks like that with her absolutely "top of the drawer" performances she won't allow me giving a walk over to the person placing his bets with me. Even as corporates are still declaring just their first quarter results of the calendar year and it's still a long way to go before 2014 gets to a close for finalizing the nominations for best performers of the year it is heartening to see that this young self made unorthodox protagonist is slowly but certainly pulling the rug from beneath the Jimmy Choo's of the who's who among the Bollywood fashionista's.

Good going girl! I am all game for the desi Kill Bill - 2. Go baby, show us some more of your raw madness and whacky humour. After all, we all deserve some sinful indulgence! A word of caution though (damn, it has unwittingly become sort of customary statutory warning all the time from me). While you hit the nearby screen for this dhinchak dekko leave your young guns behind with their governesses or let them have their share of fun at their chosen creche.

As for the REndex is there still any raised eyebrow if I give it a double tenner?

(C) Rits Original

Monday, April 7, 2014

Abki baar Modi sarkaar?!

Abki baar Modi sarkaar?!

Voila! The call that I have been anticipating for the past few months eventually found its way in full public glare hours before the most elaborate electoral exercise any democracy has seen kicks in. The 'king' to be (or is it still too early?) roared as he unabashedly asked for a referendum for 'HIM' leaving nothing to imagination as to how a party's (which had no choice but to anoint him its 'Senapati', much to the chagrin of its disgruntled septuagenarian) fate rides on absolutely nothing but this one man's charisma.

Was it anyway a different proposition for the party's disciples since the first poll bigul blew two summers ago? There have been occasional blips on an otherwise perfectly scripted skit that's been played out on the biggest stage any country could create, the whole of the country itself! Such has been the dialogue writing (including some well timed, self-serving improvisations to add that much genuineness to the whole of this drama) and editing that even the most highly decorated showman of Bollywood famous for dishing out one family potboiler after the other would find himself tempted to adopt it for his next 'inspiration'!

Want a clue to the climax of his Zillion Dollar baby? Hold tight guys. For it's still over a month before the inevitability strikes the conscience of the nation. In the interim (as a precursor to the unfolding events) what more evidence does one need when even 'Aunty' Sam got the marching orders from THE 'Uncle' after she refused to toe the line and chose to be a haughty protagonist dreaming of stemming the tide?

This is truly unprecedented for the voters of the biggest democracy which has traditionally put all its faith in the dynastic rule of a single family which deems it their birth right to govern the country, whether directly or through some very well orchestrated camouflaged way. While it is still anybody's game what with the regional complexities making it almost inconceivable to even think of a single party regime in the foreseeable future what flummoxes me is the fact that slowly yet determinately the nation is truly gearing itself up for a Presidential model of governance. The Senapati hasn't even remotely given a clue to who all would constitute his cabinet and the paradox is such that under the hallucinating aura of this alleged Indian Hitler we seem to be caring little!

Will this blind game plan work? What's running inside the minds of his think tank which would be secretely nursing its own ambitions? Are they going to peacefully accept their master's dictat should we see him taking oath from the constitutional President of the country? How would he be able to take the coalition along since he is a person who is known to be a listener to all but eventually doing what suits his temperament? These are some of the pertinent questions we should be concerned about before taking that leap of faith on the D-day while exercising our only worthwhile right, to vote for our future.

It's another thing to keep chanting Namo Namo and another to form our opinion on well researched matters of relevance. Myriad tid-bits doing the rounds on social media ending with just one objective of etching the intended bottom line "Abki baar Modi sarkaar" on the collective consciousness of the nation needs to be given as much weightage as you would give to any other forward. Now, whether you truly believe in that shared wisdom has to be YOUR concerned call only.

As for me, I don't mind enjoying a good read and bursting into a laughter every time some well written two liner comes to me with "Abki baar....!"

Everlastingly yours
(C) Rits Original

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


Khanabadosh....that's precisely how I find myself summing up the state of my mind for the past few weeks and this state keeps reminding me of my (lack of) self worth every few months (at times couple of years if I have been lucky enough to earn some marginally higher number of bookmarks in my well wishers' good books). Today, on yet another D-day (after 17 months this time) it has me just completely consumed!

Shifting house always evokes an unparalleled low sense of being and makes for nauseating emotions, especially when there is absolutely no one known around to cheer up your spirits. In a house which was never yours after spending few days only you feel like having developed a sense of attachment with even its walls. Then one fine day it's all over as you (most often) HAVE TO call it a day and hope for a new strenuous beginning all over again!

Here I am, juggling with few random & completely unfamiliar faces from my chosen movers & packers. Beyond a point you have to leave yourself at their mercy and give them benefit of doubt for their professionalism and trustworthiness. No choice. Period. I tried being a watchful owner of my house belongings for nearly six hours (even as it's just the packing / loading part of the job and hence for the day's deliverable it's not even half the job done) but then gave up on my luck for being exacting any beyond. For one last time I rather felt like hugging these stones I got so used to.

To cut the above mundane crap, which at the best could be rejected by one and all as a battered soul's desperate attempt to seek sympathy over his helplessness. But to think of it, this is pretty much the case with most living on rented dreams. Isn't it?  Shifting every now and then especially in a city like Mumbai can just drain the last drop of one's body fluid.

Now, after 13 hours of relentless pursuit to get everything done on a reasonably best efforts basis and after having employed the services of probably the most expensive Agrawal Movers and Packers which shamelessly reasons that it charges double from what others do as it doesn't compromise on the service delivery! Such a disgrace. They just shamelessly dumped everything at my new place (without unpacking & doing all or any of what it had promised while throwing its quotation as if to mock me up should I even think of questioning their irrational pricing) and expected me to give them TIP for it! Only our politicians can beat Agrawal M&P when it comes to brazen arrogance. They just rely on the brand name they have created while relying that there would always be fools like me who believe that if the price charged is double than the services ought to be world class! I am now forced into believing that I probably hired an imposter who stole the identity of the industry veteran.

I pity all the lesser mortals like me who are at the mercy of two parties viz. the house owner (the landlord) & more importantly the movers and packers. Try anyone in the business but never ever put your faith and hard earned money in such thieves as Agrawal. You deserve better.

.....any way as always, thou shall pass the acid test today (and in the weeks to come)....hold tight Ritesh Garg....just do it and hope for a welcome change to your eco-system!

(C) Rits Original